‘What to expect when you’ll never be expecting’ is a memoir style book with a tiny dash of self-help, written by a real woman, with authentic experience. I started writing it back in 2017, when I was struggling to manage my emotions after an impromptu hysterectomy at the early age of 34. I had several deep disappointments in my 20s, which unfortunately meant that I had not been able to become a mother, and now it was categorically too late.
This is why I wrote it.
From Harvesting Grapes to Healing: Embracing Life Amidst Unexpected Challenges
After two years there, living this beautiful retreat style life, I really started to heal and thrive. It was also demanding work, and one morning I went out to do some harvesting, the grapes were ready, but I had a stroke. Recovery seemed to take forever.
We found I have a rare blood disorder, there’s not a cure yet. I didn’t seem to be getting better and I started to realise I ought to do the things that I thought were important because time was ticking away.
Writing Through Adversity: Finding Purpose in Sharing My Journey
Finishing the book suddenly seemed especially important. What was it all for, if not to pass on knowledge to other people who were also unfortunately wearing my ugly shoes? For what reason could one person go through so many difficulties? I still can’t answer that, however I thought about my life, and how speaking up about my experiences might help some other ladies out there, to feel just slightly less alone if they too are going through something that one in four ladies struggle with when trying to have a family.
From Personal Healing to Collective Support: Writing for the Unseen Struggles
The truth is I never had an intended audience for this book. I wasn’t a writer. I started writing it for me, a cathartic type of self-soothing I suppose. But the stroke came, and a second stroke came a month later, and suddenly it was important for me to finish this book for those other ladies.
There were dozens of books on breastfeeding, labour and post-natal depression, but not much at all for the ladies like me. The ones left behind if you will. I wanted to share some of the things I had unexpectedly come face to face with over the years, in the hope others might feel a little more armed than ambushed, with the knowledge that they aren’t alone in this crushing, yet oddly still taboo topic, which floors one in four of us. And so now of course, I have a target audience. It’s anybody at all who wants to know more about miscarriage and the realms of grief that come with it. Anyone out there who feels broken because of loss, this is for you.
Written with Love: Empathy, Insight, and a Touch of Humor for Your Journey
I wrote it for you, so that you do not have to feel so alone with your own pain. I wrote it TO you with absolute love in my heart. There are no airs or graces, or silver linings unfortunately. But there is a whole heap of empathy, and information, and funny stories strangely enough! Towards the final chapters I’m able to explain the ways that I was able to start moving forwards. I explain what you may expect, if the case is that, for whatever reason you aren’t able to ever be expecting.
Authoring the book was difficult, obviously. But finding an agent and getting published was another kettle of fish. In the end I had lots of wonderful responses from agents, more than 50% response rate and two contract offers from hybrid companies, but this wasn’t what I wanted. I was looking for representation because writing under a pen name, as a stroke survivor on a topic like this is near impossible to market if you are from a nursing background and not a literary one. But it really was important to me.
Self-Publishing Triumph: From Learning Curve to Beacon of Hope
So, over a few months I learned as much as I could, and I very slowly went through the self-publishing process and did it by myself. I’m very proud. The reviews are beautiful. I feel gratitude for what I’ve been able to accomplish. I am grateful for my life. As soon as I wake up in the morning, I feel incredibly fortunate, and I am just over the moon that Readers Magnet Authors Lounge reached out to me. I would love it if my book were able to be a shining beacon of hope for others. I’d love it if it flew off shelves into the living rooms where it might be needed.
My future goal, (In the dreamworld that is my mind!) I want to sell lots of books, so that I could either set up a charity to help families after loss or so that I could regularly donate to an existing one.
Going forward I am currently writing my 3rd children’s story, I also do the illustrations, and the colouring in which is very relaxing!
I write stories for my children, who aren’t here, and I publish them for other parents to read to theirs before bed at night, this is what soothes my soul now and I smile every day. I practice meditation, I love tending my small garden and I’m fascinated by the stars and planets. My favourite authors are Maeve Binchy and Bryony Gordon.
Kind regards
CS Fleur
You can check my book at AMAZON.
