^{Photo by Engin Akyurt}

When you look at yourself in the mirror, who do you see? Is it someone you know very well or a mere shell of what was once a part of you?

Life is filled with the journey of self-discovery. Along the way, many people find themselves facing an identity crisis—a period of uncertainty and confusion about who they truly are. Whether triggered by major life changes, personal setbacks, or societal pressures, an identity crisis can dramatically alter one’s life. Moreover, having an identity crisis makes you feel lost and disconnected from who you once were. However, through an intentional effort to reclaim your identity, it’s not impossible to take on such a challenge.

Be warned, though. It’s not going to be easy getting there.

Having self-awareness that you are in a state of crisis is the first step in reclaiming your identity. The discontentment, confusion, and disconnection from your true self. Moreover, facing this head-on takes a lot of courage and committing to making positive dents in your life.

Additionally, do take the time to ask yourself how you’re faring in life so far. Whether you’re on the ground, way up the clouds, or meaninglessly drifting into nothingness.

Why People Lose Their Identity

People can lose themselves in the flow of life, which can be very damning. Major life events such as career changes, relocation, marriage, divorce, parenthood, etc., can make everyone understand themselves. Furthermore, these transitions require people to sacrifice some things in life to achieve what they want.

Another factor to consider is the social and cultural expectations. As the standards and pressures pile up, they eventually become a mold that shapes a whole new identity in a person. When people feel compelled to conform to these outward expectations, they may choose to suppress their true selves. And when you might find yourselves prioritizing what others want for you, there comes a time when you don’t know yourselves anymore. That is where reclaiming your identity becomes a challenge that will take forever.

Furthermore, experiencing trauma or abuse can profoundly impact a person’s identity. Survivors often dissociate themselves from who they are as a coping mechanism. They also develop negative beliefs about themselves, sinking into despair of not being able to take back the power that was taken away. Some people might not even return to who they once were because of the extreme fear that they’ll go back to that dark place again. Hence, if you’ve experienced trauma, you might encounter or feel one of these factors.

Seeking What Was Once Lost

To reclaim your identity, you need more time to understand what you value in life. Losing personal identity is one of the worst things that could come from life’s struggles and desire to be validated. You may lose touch with your unique qualities when you define yourself solely based on others’ opinions. Furthermore, constantly comparing yourself to others steals away the joy you might’ve already had since it got traded by the need to look at the other side.

That is why seeking what was lost becomes tough, especially when reclaiming your identity. And you might also be wondering if there is a way out of this labyrinth that has trapped you for life. It’s safe to say that this particular situation can be likened to you trying to put together a jigsaw puzzle. All the pieces are scattered, and you’re scrambling while strategically putting back the right pieces. And when you’re almost done, this one piece is all you need. However, in a surprising turn of events, it’s not there. The process of reclaiming your identity can often feel like that. Unresolved traumas or emotional wounds can contribute to losing your sense of self.

Taking Back the Power of Reclaiming Your Identity

It never feels good to not know who you are, especially when your life is on the line. Then you might relate to the story of Aggie Upton in the book Serious Consequences: Losing Everything Including Identity. At one point, Aggie finds herself in a whirlwind of events that drastically turns her life around after waking up from a coma. Tragedy, hostility, loss, and fear all pile up in Aggie’s life, which forces her to take action that might mean risking her life.

The book deals with serious themes that might be stressful to deal with sometimes. But it also tackles how one can regain the power to reclaim one’s identity despite the odds stacked against them. Furthermore, readers might even find comfort in Aggie’s struggles to restore who she was before things happened.

Check out the book if you find the plot intriguing; watch as Aggie takes on the challenge of making sense of her life.