by Emily Yurcheshen
“Trusting the universe doesn’t mean diddly sh*t if you’re not actually trusting yourself.”
D.A. Sarac
First, decide you’re worth it! Entertain the inkling that your unique essence is needed and wanted here and now on this planet. You are a song worth singing! Love yourself even if there’s a part of you that feels not good enough, ugly, broke or destined to be alone the rest of your life.
After a wonderful Zoom international student concert that I Emceed, wonderful until it was time to share my screen, and I accidentally clicked on a Youtube video, which to my chagrin, recently added advertisements. As a result of this change, I ended up clicking on a “bra” ad. So just as we were concluding a hitch-less online performance, I inadvertently gave a “boob” show to all my students and their relatives from around the world.
This was a turning point for me, an “aha” moment that I was determined to squeeze out every bit of cosmic juice I could. I chose not to wallow in shame and tell the repetitive narrative: I have a technological curse that I just simply can’t do a thing about. Instead, I strolled around my neighborhood and asked the universe for guidance. I received the input to post the video, laugh off my mistake and let it go. As I was downloading the show and snipping off the bra shot, I received a text on my phone from my friend, a sweet soul who just gets sucked into the seemingly sulkiness of his life.
This is a quote from the text
“ I have come to the conclusion that I will be alone forever with just my dog. I have had too much trauma and I’m an ugly person and don’t have anything to bring to the table… it’s too late. I have nothing to offer and have come to realize that I won’t ever be in the workforce again and that’s a turn off to most women I guess. I’m ugly, short and fat so this is where I will be. I just don’t want to learn anything more at this point….”
What is IT about the human condition that leads us to believe such crap about ourselves? Why do we err on the side of self loathing when our essence is love? When we come into this life, we are absolute perfect love. Returning to this knowing and embodying it is my lifelong quest, but it isn’t easy. Many of us get tangled in beliefs that mirror the complete shadow of the light of who we truly are.
We all have the potential to rock our dreams into reality! When I first started guitar, I dreamt, as many budding musicians do,” of becoming a rock star. I bought a sea green electric and played for hours all the 80’s rock hits, or at least the parts I could figure out and then I would write my own songs and felt ignited in this songwriting process. It transformed me, for music became my inner compass. Emotional expression drove me
deeper into my own power- anger, rage betrayal, love and boundaries- the strong feminine voices of Patty Griffin, Heart, Pat Benetar- led me to realize that I had a voice too. I didn’t know what I was supposed to do with it, for it didn’t sound like the rockers I knew, but I kept at it and searched for a sound that ignited me, a vibration that helped me feel alive: stronger than I ever imagined, more beautiful than I saw in the mirror, more rich and popular than I could imagine by just being ME!
The verses of the song I wrote would often ask questions like “How Come?”. This song had a power way beyond my most magical dreams, for my friend and I ended up sharing it on a culture t.v. show in the Dominican Republic. It started simply with this question.
“How come we can’t all just live in peace?” And the chorus had an answer.
“For all I’ve ever wanted, all I’ve ever dreamed is to love one another, take each other’s hand, treat each other gently as we travel through this land, so how come?”
The magic of this song expanded from the beginning of its conception on my tiny digital recorder (yes this dates me), for I went over to my friend Lulu’s for dinner. Born in Mexico, Spanish is her native tongue. While we were eating, this song spontaneously started playing from my purse on the other side of the room. Lulu thought it was the radio, and I told her shyly that it was a song I started writing. She wanted to hear it and then immediately felt drawn to add lyrics of her own…in Spanish. Within a short time, the song grew its bilingual wings.
My friend Lulu joined me on my next adventure. We both not only found individual themes to match our articles but more importantly, a deeper mission fueled our travels. We decided to give away five ukuleles and 10 solar power lights to anyone who wanted them while we were in the Dominican Republic. Through incredible synchronicity, a unique opportunity surfaced to give away the ukes and lights on a local culture show and share our story and the song we wrote that inspired the mission. The performance of the song was not without its flaws, but it resonated with the next guest, a film director. He even asked for permission to feature the song in an animated film, a nonprofit project. He invited us to sing our song at his film school and create cartoons with his film students. Who could imagine from this simple song that this whole journey could manifest? Why would you ever attempt to hold your creative power back when you have no idea what grand adventure the universe might have in store for you?
Your dream may not ever involve picking up a guitar, or even singing. It could! On my path, I do them both daily. But yours may be different. Your dream may show itself in any way that feels true to you-in being a master mother or fantastic father, a tech guru or a yoga instructor. It might come by being true to your words, kind when you’re in pain and in your willingness to take risks to grow in whatever sparks your joy. We complicate this damn journey so much. We put so much more into it when really, it’s about letting the innards of your life just fall out and shine. It’s more messy but it’s so simple. What’s hard is protecting yourself from being yourself. All the things we say and do to shield
ourselves from the vulnerability and possible ridicule of what others think about us. I’ve cared way too much about this most of my life, and it’s the shiny moments like the “bra clip” where I am confronted with how much I care what “they” think, that I realized that by just letting this fear go, I free myself to be me, my imperfect, loving, messy, vulnerable self. You see me in all of this, and I’m glad for it. You see me, not the image that I’m projecting on the civilized screen, but the raw and dare I say precious me. And then when you see this in me, you get a glimpse of the raw and precious you. How does that feel?
It’s been an amazing journey, these last twenty years writing, playing and teaching music. How did I ever make a career of this when I never went to school for any of it? How was I able to attract such amazing experiences in my life, so many students along the path when I was always learning just a few steps ahead of them? And where do I go with it now?…deeper
This book is a call to dive deeper. In it, I weave mythological tales, chanting and drumming into daily rituals that will align more fully with the light and love of who you are. Through this amazing adventure, you will gain the clarity and confidence to shine your beautiful light in the world more fully in the world.
If you have a desire to expand and amplify your creative dreams, then I have a unique and wonderful opportunity for you. I am teaching a weekly online Zoom class Tuesdays at 2 p.m. PST time based on my upcoming book…and we are gonna rock! We will bridge ancient wisdom through mythology, chanting and drumming with daily practices to achieving your creative goals and dreams. It will be a gathering to charge and ignite your creative passion and ultimately the joy of pursuing your most delicious dreams. For more information, please email me at [email protected] and visit my landing page at emilysongbird.com
