There are many ways we can help someone who is traumatized by sexual abuse.
How can we help someone who is traumatized by sexual abuse? Sexual violence is sadly familiar. In the U.S., about 1 in 5 women experience rape or assault, often by people they trust. This happens more in certain places. Men, boys, and transgender people also face such trauma.
No matter who you are, the hurt from sexual violence is deep. It goes beyond physical pain. It can make you feel scared, alone, and troubled by bad memories. You lose trust in the world and yourself. You doubt your worth and blame yourself. Relationships become scary, and being close feels impossible. Sometimes, you struggle with PTSD, anxiety, and sadness.
“Bertha’s Son,” Joseph N. Waddy
In the book “Bertha’s Son,” Joseph N. Waddy shares his life story as a young boy in Guyana, South America. Despite a tough childhood, he overcame challenges and achieved success. The book has 37 short chapters filled with honest details from his life, including complex topics like rape and deception. It’s a tribute to his remarkable mother, Bertha. The book gives insight into life in Guyana and aims to inspire readers by sharing Joseph’s experiences. Memoirs like this help us understand others’ lives better and find inspiration in their journeys. This book is an autobiography of challenges and successes.
How to Help Someone Who Is Traumatized by Sexual Abuse?
Listen and Believe
Create a safe and open-minded environment where they can share their feelings and experiences. Believe their story and validate their emotions. A victim of sexual abuse requires to be heard and understood. When listening to them, one should express care and concern so they will not feel alone in their struggles.
Respect Their Pace
Let them control the pace of disclosure and recovery. Avoid pushing them to talk about things they’re not ready to discuss. Listen to survivors without prying into assault details. Understand if they don’t want to chat now. Assure them you’ll be prepared when they are. Speaking up about assault takes courage; some stay silent, fearing shame, blame, or disbelief. Let them express feelings; their anger is at the situation, not you. Just offer support and listen.
Encourage Professional Help
Suggest seeking therapy or counseling from professionals experienced in trauma. Offer to help find resources and accompany them if they’re comfortable.
Be Patient
Healing takes time. Let them express their emotions, even if they seem to repeat themselves.
Respect Boundaries
Always ask for permission before offering physical comfort, like hugs. Let them guide the level of physical contact.
Avoid Blame
Never blame them for what happened. Focus on the actions of the perpetrator and their responsibility.
Offer Practical Support
Help with daily tasks or responsibilities if they’re struggling to cope.
Educate Yourself
Learn about the effects of trauma and abuse to better understand their experience and needs.
Be Patient
Healing takes time. Let them express their emotions, even if they seem to repeat themselves.
Respect Boundaries
Always ask for permission before offering physical comfort, like hugs. Let them guide the level of physical contact.
Avoid Blame
Never blame them for what happened. Focus on the actions of the perpetrator and their responsibility.
Offer Practical Support
Help with daily tasks or responsibilities if they’re struggling to cope.
Educate Yourself
Learn about the effects of trauma and abuse to better understand their experience and needs.
Stay Connected
Regularly check in on them, even if they don’t always want to talk. Let them know you’re there for them.
Promote Self-Care
Encourage them to immerse in enjoyable activities and promote self-care practices like exercise, meditation, and relaxation techniques.
Advocate
If they decide to report the abuse, offer to accompany them to authorities or support groups.
What someone’s feeling is a normal response to trauma caused by abuse. Feeling helpless or ashamed is part of it. It’s not how things are. Despite the challenges, they can heal. They can learn to cope, feel safe again, and trust. With the proper steps, you can move forward and recover.
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