Photo by Alex Green
Alcoholism is a severe problem in our society. According to ProjectKnow, approximately 14 million adults (1 in every 13) abuse alcohol or are suffering from some alcoholism issue. Such statistics are no laughing matter, considering how devastating the effects of alcoholism are. Those living with, or being in love with an alcoholic, would need effective ways to help people handle an alcoholic spouse.
Fortunately, there are steps that a partner who is living with an alcoholic or someone struggling with AUD (Alcohol Use Disorder) could take, similar to what Margaret Moschak, author of My Alcoholic, My Love: My Love and Loss of an Alcoholic Husband, did. However, it’s important to remember that you are neither the cause nor the cure they need. You can support them with their recovery, but remember that you also have a healing process.
With that said, let’s go ahead and talk about what a married partner could experience living with an individual who has AUD and discover how alcoholism affects family and friends.
The Possible Experiences of a Partner Residing with a Hard Drinker
Someone with AUD is characterized by their inability to stop or regulate their drinking despite social, professional, or health ramifications. Although the negative impacts of AUD will be mainly felt by the person suffering from this persistent medical condition, the problems do bleed through to their loved ones, family members, and others. Residing with an individual who has drinking issues can bring about enabling the partner’s drinking habit, attempts to control, and even self-blame.
Being in love with an alcoholic and living with one is tricky. However, there are constructive solutions to deal with these experiences, such as:
• Enabling the Partner’s Drinking Habit – Set healthy boundaries and say no to your spouse’s bad drinking habits.
• Attempts to Control – It’s better to release control actively regarding your partner’s excessive drinking instead of monitoring what they do, tracking where they are, trying to throw out their liquor, admonishing them, prohibiting them from drinking, or begging them to stop.
• Self-blame – Realizing they’re responsible for recovering from AUD and dealing with their emotions will help you free yourself from blame.
Taking care of yourself is crucial when residing with someone constantly inebriated. The old saying goes, “You can’t help others if you can’t help yourself,” so be sure to take care of yourself first. It might sound counterintuitive, mainly when the alcoholic displays troublesome addictive behaviors, but it is an essential step one shouldn’t skip.
Reliable Steps to Help People Handle an Alcoholic Spouse
Due to how prevalent alcoholism is, reliable steps to help people handle an alcoholic spouse have been created. Note: These steps might not always work in the moment or scenario you’re in, which is why we’ve listed numerous means for you. Here are some ways to aid individuals in managing their bad experiences with a partner with AUD:
• Going to Therapy – Therapy is an excellent way to discover methods that’ll aid you in coping with your inebriated husband or wife.
• Peer Support Groups – Peer support groups significantly aid individuals in realizing they’re not alone. Al-Anon, an organization that aims to help and hope for families and friends of alcoholics, offers means to properly care for yourself and provide coping skills. The Group was a big help to author Margaret Moschak, which she mentions at length in her book.
• Educate Yourself – Being in love with an alcoholic is often a decision people don’t consciously make because their love for their spouses blinds them. By learning what an inebriated partner is going through and preparing when to talk about the difficulties of alcoholism, you can put yourself at ease a bit better.
• Involve Family or Friends to Gain Familial Support – Don’t be afraid to involve your family or friends. Just be honest with what you think would be helpful to you that they can offer.
• Self-care – We cannot stress this part enough. Self-care, whether spiritual, emotional, or physical, is the key to your capability to handle the issue. Always make time for yourself to prioritize healthy activities like exercising, meditation, or pursuing relaxing hobbies.
Life with an alcoholic is never going to be easy. And depending on how eager they are to change and correct their ways, you might eventually have to do what many others did — remove themselves and their kids from their toxic situation. It’s painful and sad, but preparing for that time might be necessary.
Author Marget Moschak shares her story of living with an alcoholic in her book My Alcoholic, My Love: My Love and Loss of an Alcoholic Husband. If you ever find yourself alone, the book is an excellent source of support that you can lean on.
