ReadersMagnet | So you cant stop using? There are too many triggers out there in the world. It seems like every time I quit for a while there’s something that is still wrong. Im getting so depressed I don’t think I will every quit using. I’ve been to rehab several times but end up at the same blob,blob,blob, 12 step program don’t work for me. To me it feels like something is missing in my life and I cant put my finger on it. Meetings help me to release my burden but there is something not working.
Maybe I just like to use. Maybe I will never get well. Im afraid Im going to overdose. My body is changing. Cant eat.All I want to do is use. Forget what others are saying about me. They don’t wear my shoes.
When I truly began to Understand somewhat the Truth of Life I was in a Rehabilitation Center willing to Understand the Matter and was desperate for a Change in my Life. I was near physical death and my spirit man was being quench from understanding life by my own self will living. I did have knowledge of one thing during this time at the Rehab Center and it was this; “If I don’t get help on this matter, I was going to die.” It wasn’t a matter of “If” I would die, It was a matter of “when” I would die. Institutions and jails had already past my life and I knew there was only one matter left for my life and it was, death. I’ve never spent time in a prison, but institutions and jails had past my time and I didn’t judge and think any different. My friend I have been there where you are on the street and using and hoping for a miracle. I have been to meetings after meetings but the program just didn’t work. The last time I went to rehab was my 10th time, but something happened when I went to the last rehab. I was headed for death and I was searching for anything that would pull me out of this death walk.I started praying to God seeking counseling and looking for a way out. I would pray to God every night, but it seem God was a trillion miles away and wouldn’t do anything for a sinner like me. My friend, I believe this with all my heart today: If a man wants to Live this Life much more Abundantly and wants all things that would make his Life much more abundantly, then that man will seek Understanding of the God of Life. I am confident today, that if a man is willing to seek, ask, knock for Understanding in the right places, he will live a Life much more abundantly and have a greater confidence of Life in it‘s Trueness.
In the Holy Word of God it is written in Ecclesiastes Chapter9 verses 4-6, “For to him that is joined to all the living there is hope: for a living dog is better than a dead lion. For the living know that they shall die: but the dead know not any thing, neither have they any more reward; for the memory of them is forgotten. Also their love, and their hatred, and their envy, is now perished; neither have they any more a portion for ever in any thing that is done under the sun.”