Photo by Jasmin Wedding Photography
Maureen E. Hosier presents us with an idea: accepting change and how we should grow and learn to accept that it’s a part of relationships.
When things are stagnant, everything becomes murky and unmoving; if we’re talking about a pond, chances are there’s no life beneath the surface. When things are rushing, everything is clear and moving: a pond becomes a river where life flows, and its course is continually reshaping the land it touches.
When we are in flux, we are offered a far more vibrant image of life, and this very image aptly mirrors how our relationships ought to be.
We often approach relationships with a static state in mind. We seek comfort in the familiar, clinging to patterns already established and perspectives that are affixed to one direction. Our partner becomes a known quantity, and our dynamic becomes a predictable flow. While stability holds immense value, clinging to it for dear life can often strangle the very thing we try to preserve.
How Dynamism Helps Relationships Flourish
Much like a river, relationships demand movement, dynamism, a persistent push of change, and navigating new tracks of understanding.
Why is this so crucial? Consider our individual journeys. We are not static beings frozen in time. We evolve, our thoughts and experiences shaping us like the river shapes its banks. The person we fall in love with today will inevitably be different tomorrow, a product of life’s ever-shifting currents. To keep our “initial version” of them is to deny both them and ourselves the right to grow.
Furthermore, the world around us is in a constant flux of shifting perspectives. Every encounter, every piece of information, and every emotion adds a new notch to the mental pillar of our understanding. This vibrant mosaic, if embraced within the relationship, can enrich both partners. When we remain open to new perspectives and accepting of change, we allow our partner to paint their inner world onto our canvas, thus expanding our own vision and unfolding hidden corners of their reality.
Accepting Change in Relationships
However, navigating this dynamism is not without its challenges. Here are some key considerations:
- Constant Curiosity: It is essential to approach your partner with curiosity, not assumptions. Ask questions, actively listen, and genuinely strive to understand their evolving worldview. Treat each conversation as a chance to discover new facets of the person you love.
- Active Listening: True listening goes beyond just hearing words. It involves seeking the hidden meaning, the unspoken emotions, and the nuances that lie beneath the surface. This kind of attentive listening builds bridges of understanding, allowing you to truly connect with your partner’s evolving perspective.
- Communicating Change: Growth often involves discomfort. We might hesitate to voice new ideas or perspectives for fear of upsetting the balance. However, honest communication is vital. Share your evolving thoughts and feelings with openness and vulnerability, creating a safe space for your partner to do the same.
- Respecting Difference: Not every new perspective will align perfectly with yours. Disagreements are inevitable, and suppressing them can breed resentment. Instead, accepting change is an opportunity for mutual growth. Discuss differences with respect, acknowledging the validity of each viewpoint while seeking common ground.
- Celebrating Transformation: As both you and your partner evolve, your relationship will inevitably transform. Don’t resist this change, and celebrate it! Each transformation is a testament to the dynamism that keeps your bond alive, a reflection of the growth you experience together.
Embracing the dynamism of relationships and accepting change doesn’t imply constant volatility. It’s about holding onto the core values that bind you while allowing yourselves to evolve as individuals and as a couple. It’s about understanding that the world changes with us and that that is a beautiful thing.
For more insights into relationships, Dr. Maureen E. Hosier has books about new relationship perspectives available in all major online bookstores.