People say that we need to achieve something for us to be happy. That somehow, achievement is the measure of happiness in life. Somehow, we will never be completely happy if we do not reach a certain standard set out for us. For example, people often say that women have to get married and have children to be happy, while men have to do well in their jobs and provide for their families to be happy.

This seems like the picture-perfect idea of happiness for many of us – having a family, providing the needs while having some companionship in being a spouse. But is this really what happiness is? Is it an idea that we can have and hold? Is it always fixed? Can we never be truly happy if we never achieve this?

The simple answer to all those questions, for me, is no. There is no perfect example of happiness. Happiness is subjective, and only we can decide to be happy ultimately. We write our own stories, and we hold the power to decide what kind of happiness we choose for ourselves. We can experience happiness in our daily lives, and we don’t have to wait another 20 years to be happy. Here are some ways for us to choose happiness today:

1. Smile!

Smiling is underrated. Did you know that smiles are infectious? Similar to yawning, smiles are contagious. Smiling to others causes them to smile as well. It is an instinct that most of us have developed, especially when developing empathy in other people. 

Aside from that, smiles can even trick our brains into believing that we are happy. Forcing even a fake smile can reduce our stress and lower our heart rate. Studies even show that people who could not frown from botox injections were happier on average than people who could frown.

2. Look on the positive side.

Sometimes, it’s hard to look at the positive side when we are being smothered with an immense amount of problems. However, being optimistic does have its benefits, including making us more resistant to stress and combating depression. Counting our blessings, even the smallest ones, is an excellent reminder that things are going well for us somehow.

Silver linings may be challenging to spot at first, but when we realize that problems have a positive side, they become more manageable and help us complete our tasks faster and more efficiently. Overall, this will positively affect our mood as well.

3. Pause before being rash

Sometimes, when our anger, jealousy, or rage gets the better of us, we do things we do not normally do. We scream at others, offend others, and say things we do not mean. Allowing ourselves to pause before making a rash decision fueled by emotions prevents us from ruining others’ happiness and stops us from ruining our own chance at happiness.

When we are surrounded by happy people or trying to make us happy, it is best to try to put our emotions aside, especially if we know that these emotions can affect our judgment and how we treat other people.

4. Use our strengths

Most of the time, using our strengths makes us happy. Not only because most of the things that make us happy just so happen to be our strengths, but because our strengths establish a feeling of competence. Using our strengths reminds us that we can do it – we are capable of accomplishing anything we put our mind to.

5. Accomplish something

Accomplishments are not always grand. Something simple such as cleaning our room or doing the groceries is already an accomplishment. Accomplishing at least one task in a day gives us the feeling that we did something that day. We are productive, we are in control of our own lives, and we are capable of doing it. People find joy in realizing that they could contribute to their self-care or other people’s happiness.

6. Eat well

Eating well does not only mean a balanced diet and health, but it also means being able to drink at least eight glasses of water a day. We have to make sure that we don’t fall ill to be happy. Being sick hinders us from being happy and negatively impacts our emotional health.

7. Pray or Meditate

Praying to the God or Gods, we may believe in (even though we may have different beliefs) will help give us ground on the root of our happiness. Reading books about happiness, such as Aura McClain’s book about God, often aligns our body, mind, and energy into a positive mindset. Building a stronger relationship with whom we believe to be our Creator often positively affects how we perceive the things around us. 

For those who do not believe in a god or do not find comfort in one, then meditation is a good thing for us to do. Meditation activities do not have to mean doing yoga or tai chi – it can also mean doing daily activities mindfully.