Photo by Yan Krukau
Children can foster strong bonds without the inevitable fighting, especially among siblings. It’s normal; parents can quell a kid’s fighting situation with the right approach. This is a guide on when kids fight and how to make them get along well.
Usually, parents expect their kids to get along – that they would be on friendly terms with each other. Kids fighting often happens. Regardless of the nature of their relationship, children aren’t always going to act loving and kind. They’ll be teasing, competing, misunderstanding, and bickering some days. Sometimes, when kids fight, they go as far as ignoring each other.
Going through the ups and downs may be necessary since parenting also entails the ability to discern what a healthy and unhealthy sibling relationship is. The occasional spats may be okay for now, but you must not let it be as time passes. Ignoring the negative signs may lead to a dysfunctional relationship and break their bond growing up.
The best thing to do when kids fight
There are many sources that parents can rely on when they see their kids fighting. For instance, they can refer to the story The Ladybug and The Bully Frog by Caroleann Rice. It’s about a community of animals who called for help because the frog named Milton kept bullying them. Mrs. Ladybug, lovingly called “Dot,” was the one they asked to help them resolve the situation.
In any quarrel, the kids having someone to turn to can help prevent further escalation. In your kids’ case, you are the middle person who serves as the referee that quells the heat. Even though the book doesn’t necessarily talk about sibling relationships per se, the fact remains that it shows how to address conflict resolution.
Find the conflict’s source when kids are fighting.
Two people sometimes clash over the same things, most likely shared for some time. One moment, they would bond over the same favorite toy and fight over it the next. One way to secure the situation and restore order is to set ground rules, like putting up a schedule where the kids can take turns. Ensure the kids can see it quickly and remind each other when needed.
Establish order when necessary.
It’s also crucial for you to double-check if they understand the rules well to avoid further misunderstandings. Kids need more time to process the rules you laid out since they might feel restricted. It helps to reward them for following the rules so that they’ll be motivated to keep things in order next time. And if kids whine, ignore them as much as possible. It’s to make them aware that complaining will get them nowhere.
You don’t have to solve everything.
Let’s face it; you don’t have all the power to stop the kids from fighting. It’s hard to calm them down when they’re getting on each other’s nerves and you, the parents, are squashed in the middle. It might be advisable to step in and intervene, but choose the perfect time to do it. Especially when the kids get physical with their fights. Cut into the kids fighting when they start hurting each other physically.
Instead of trying to solve the issue, devise the most probable solution and prod them up so there would be a chance for discussion. However, you don’t have to make it a big deal because bombarding them with solutions can become a bigger problem, and you might not solve anything.
Be the voice of reason when kids fight.
There’s no such thing as a perfect solution when kids fight. They do that to assert dominance over the other, and there will be a lack of recognition of their relationship. Parents have a significant responsibility to ensure they’ll still get along.
What makes this issue complicated is that not all rules apply to kids on an equal scale, particularly siblings. They might feel like one is favored over the other. These differences cause competition, creating an unhealthy sibling rivalry. Life is only sometimes fair; children will learn that earlier than expected. As early as now, establish your role as their equal support and emphasize how being harmonious is more important than being right on certain occasions.
