Photo by Ivan Samkov
One Caregiver’s Journey by Eleanor Gaccetta gives a fascinating look at what it means to be someone’s caretaker and the many things one learns and grows from such an experience.
Often, when taking care of people and encouraging them to persist, caregivers unknowingly hurt their charges. This is because most people are blinded and clouded by their personal biases. It can be difficult to understand people on the other side, especially those who are sick and/or disabled.
If you want to provide the best care that you can, you must always remember to be positive and be careful about how your words and actions might be perceived. Learn to have an awareness of speech and action so you don’t overstep your bounds and unintentionally step on someone’s toes.
Awareness of Speech and Action
Dealing with an illness can be a physically and emotionally challenging experience. While it is vital to maintain a positive outlook, there is a growing concern about the negative impact of “toxic positivity” on people suffering from sickness.
Toxic positivity is the pervasive idea that people, regardless of their circumstances, should always look at things on the bright side and approach life with a happy, more positive attitude regardless of the reality of the situation Just smile. While this sounds well on paper, in practice, it can become quite suffocating to maintain, especially when you are justified in your negativity.
Toxic positivity can harm those struggling with illness and other burdens. When people are told to “just think positively” or “focus on the good,” it can make them feel like their struggles are being dismissed or invalidated. This also creates a sense of guilt or shame for not always maintaining a positive outlook.
Furthermore, toxic positivity can lead to a lack of opportunities to practice empathy and understanding for the family and friends of the afflicted. When people are constantly told to “look on the bright side,” expressing their genuine emotions and fears can be difficult. This is extremely isolating and can make it challenging to talk about anything.
Toxic positivity also hinders the healing process. When people are told to “just be positive” or “stay strong,” it creates unrealistic expectations about how healing and recovery should go, thereby increasing the pressure sick and disabled people have on themselves, which creates needless stress and anxiety, which, in turn, can harm further one’s physical health.
If you have a cancer patient, they should be allowed to talk about how their cancer is affecting them. The same goes for any kind of illness, disease, and life situation.
Doing Someone a Kindness
Being a caregiver or just being involved in caregiving means there is a critical need to remember awareness of speech and action, especially around patients. This means learning to engage with them from their perspective and understanding their humanity.
Recognizing and avoiding toxic positive behaviors is essential to promote a healthier and more realistic attitude toward positivity.
Here are some behaviors one should watch out for, not just in caregiving but in all interactions with others:
Telling someone to “just be happy” or “look on the bright side” during a tough time can dismiss their feelings. It is essential to validate and support people when they are experiencing negative emotions and want to open up and express their feelings rather than trying to force them to stay quiet and positive.
Ignoring or suppressing negative emotions can be harmful in the long run. It is crucial to allow yourself to feel and process all positive and negative feelings in a healthy way. If you are having issues, do not hide them from your patient; be open with them and have a conversation free from judgment.
Comparing someone’s struggles to your own or telling them their problems “aren’t that bad” can be invalidating and dismissive. Everyone’s experiences are valid and vital; listening to and supporting others without judgment is essential.
Constantly pushing oneself to be positive and productive can lead to neglecting self-care and personal boundaries. It is important to prioritize self-care and take breaks to maintain mental and emotional well-being.
Promoting a healthy and balanced attitude towards positivity is crucial rather than pressuring oneself or others to always be happy and optimistic. Recognizing and avoiding toxic positive behaviors teaches you to be more supportive and understanding of the people around you.
One Caregiver’s Journey by Eleanor Gaccetta gives a fascinating look at what it means to be someone’s caretaker and the many things one learns and grows from such an experience. As a caregiver for her mother for nearly a decade, Gaccetta learned to address situations in an honest manner. Toxic positive behaviors were never an issue for Gaccetta or her mother. However, the book details how and when those behaviors were dealt with and avoided. The book was written over a decade and is a snapshot into the realities of the changes and challenges of being a caregiver. This topic is covered in numerous ways. The book is available on Amazon.
