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Encouraging A Friend with Our Trials by Jamie Pulos-Fry teaches believers the importance of community in the church and engagement with fellow church members.
Life is full of tragedy; every day, believers face trials, both minor and major. Yet this is not because the world is inherently cruel or because their lives are merely pulled along by the currents.
It is because, as God’s children, humans are compelled to venture out into the world and learn outside of themselves. With this, being challenged and experiencing loss and failure are inevitable.
What’s more, it is through adversity that people grow and can strengthen their faith in God. Despite the many tragedies that have happened in recent years (most recently, a great earthquake that struck Turkiye and Syria), despite deep grief and loss, people still find courage and spirituality.
But, although people are shown to be resilient in times of great stress, it is most certainly because there is a community behind them to share their burdens with.
And for believers, the closest and largest community is the church. Encouraging A Friend with Our Trials by Jamie Pulos-Fry speaks of this. During and after times of strife, people need a hand. They need their family, friends, and even their neighbors. Tragedy teaches not only of the intimate connection between God and humanity but of the human need for support.
It is only through a deep commitment to other church members and the church itself that believers can reveal themselves as worthy of God’s love, which encompasses all and provides for them.
For God loves His creations, so must they follow and embody that love, especially when tragedy strikes.
How to Talk to Church-Goers Who Are Suffering
If you have learned that a member of your church has suffered greatly recently and want to be there for them, but you do not have any idea on how to go about it, here are some tips to let them know you are there for them and how to engage:
Be Present. If you find a fellow church-goer to be in distress, do not immediately run over and ask if they want to talk or not. Some people, when stressed, do not respond kindly to sudden proposals for talking it over. It is better to first assess whether or not you have a close relationship with the person before heading on over to signal your willingness to be there for them.
Regardless of intimacy or not, just letting your presence be known and indicating an openness to talk or help is extremely impactful.
Be Attentive. People who are going through issues will either not want to talk about them or want to vent them all out. When the latter is true, it is usually best to give them space and let them feel things on their own; if and when they want to open up, that will be the time to listen. When it is the latter, though, you should be focused and attentive. Give them the freedom to talk about everything they want to talk about while offering a reply or two every time the conversation is brought back to you.
One thing you should also remember is to never overreach. Never try to fix anything. Suggest, perhaps. But never declare you have the solution.
Pray for Them. What most people need after tragedy is guidance. You can give what you can and offer what you have, but remember that you cannot truly guarantee that their problem will be fixed. That is why, in addition to talking through things with them and lending material aid, the best next thing is to pray for them. Tell them that you will pray for them, and when you have the time, do it. You can even pray with them if they are open to it, or invite other church members.
In times of tragedy, prayer is a powerful anchor; it establishes a connection between the believer and God, which uplifts the spirit and reinforces one’s conviction. Prayer also helps by taking one’s mind away from the tragedy and bringing it, albeit briefly, to communication with the Lord.
