There are key ingredients to everyone having a successful marriage. The characteristics of a fruitful relationship may not be known or received all at the same time. However, they exist when choices are being made to overcome the same challenges. There are no quick and doable answers since habits that are long-time embedded are not easily dismissed. Time, patience, and persistence will always be a part of the equation for victory. This will mean giving of oneself to get the results that are wanted and needed to have peace and embrace happiness. It can be a win-win for all involved. These will result in a win-win for marriage.
Being present, not just physically, but emotionally, mentally, and spiritually provides coherence in having a meaningful conversation. It’s great to have conversations about the day-to-day events. However, it’s good to get in the habit of involving yourselves with significant discussions regarding the important things going on in your marriage. Find out what concerns your spouse may have. When paying attention, it becomes noticeable when something is off. The quietness can be speaking very loudly.
Timing is everything. Concerns and disappointments should be shared immediately to avoid pileups.
If something is bothering you and you don’t share it with your spouse in a timely manner, they won’t get the effect of what you are attempting to convey. A timely manner will be after calmness has reoccurred and one can talk with a clear mindset. Don’t allow unresolved conflicts to worsen without appropriately expressing the way you feel. By expressing your feelings in a loving, honest, and direct way, you allow you and your spouse the opportunity to work together towards an appropriate resolution. A win-win for marriage requires effective communication.
Be sure to acknowledge your spouse’s strengths and positive attributes. Be careful not to get too caught up in your everyday routine and responsibilities. Take a step back, take some time and recognize your spouse for their contributions to the relationship. Remind them why you love them, how special they are to you and what you value most about them. Everyone wants to feel appreciated for what they do and who they are. Build your spouse up. Verbalize words of gratitude and appreciation, such as:
– I appreciate you
– You do that so well
– I’m thankful God put you in my life
– What an incredible idea
– You’re beautiful inside and out
Take thoughts and ideas all the way back to the beginning of the relationship when there was so much fun happening. Laughing at silly things. Making meaningless jokes. Over joyous with just being around one another.
Beautiful memories lighten the load. Life can be challenging, demanding, busy and overwhelming. It’s important to create the time and space in your relationship to have fun. Laughter is good for the soul, and it is free! Think on those things that are lovely and pure, those things that will bring you together. You can plan fun activities you both enjoy doing or just be spontaneous and create new adventures. Whatever you decide, keep it simple and fun.
Intentional focus on a relationship will create success which causes a win-win for everyone. It produces oneness, as purposely designed.
Beverly V. Thomas
To know more about how to achieve goals that will result in a win-win for marriage, check out Two As One Forever: A Better You, A Better Marriage by Beverly V. Thomas.
