You Can’t Keep Her: Sequel to Bonita by Carl R. Brush centers on a woman’s journey into this world despite the odds and challenges of being a woman. This reminds us of the complex power play between the two genders. Men and women are too different from each other. They are just wired differently. Sometimes this is what draws each to the opposite sex, but when it comes to the way one thinks, matters worsen if the same argument occurs over and over several years. Nothing gets resolved once doubt creeps in, trust is broken, and eventually, they give up on the relationship.

So how can guys decipher what girls are thinking? Here are some tips.

Flattery will get you nowhere, and so will tactlessness.

Always compliment her, but find the right words to say. A woman will sense it if a guy is not sincere. Find something positive that is true instead of just blurting out anything to have something nice to say. If you don’t mean it, it is better not to say anything.

Let us say you don’t find her pretty at all. You think she is a bit chubby. You can look at other options.

Maybe her hair looks nice. Or that the color combination of her outfit is your favorite. But just because it is true, return the favor and never say she is fat, and you like fat people. Even if you genuinely feel this, very few appreciate this kind of comment. Another comment that most guys consider a compliment but should never be uttered is, “You gained weight! You look better now.” A whopping majority of females would instead be told that they are too thin or have lost a lot of weight, no matter your opinion regarding their size.

Return the favor and listen to her troubles. But you don’t have to solve them.

Most of the time, ladies want to vent their thoughts about others. It sounds like they are complaining and want a solution to their problems, but if she doesn’t ask for your help, it is better to listen and wait until she is done ranting. More often than not, she thinks aloud or shares her day. After this, she will feel much better even if you do nothing except nod in agreement every five minutes.

Men tend to suggest a solution, and when the woman doesn’t want to follow it, it leaves him wondering what the commotion is about and what the point of talking for more than an hour is as if she didn’t want help.

Let her wear what she wants.

She is wearing that sexy outfit for herself. She likes the way she looks in it. She is not wearing it to impress someone else. She chose you. She wants to be with you. She might change her mind if you do not let her wear what she wants. Maybe not now, but when you consider being in this relationship with you, this will weigh heavily as one of your drawbacks.

Men always notice the show of skin, be it their girlfriends or friends’ wives. They don’t like their partner in skimpy outfits because their male friends might think. We cannot control what other people think. So it is unfair to control what our partner wears just because of this.

Hopefully, the day will come when both genders fully understand each other. But until that time comes, we must always remember that the reason that drives couples apart is the very same one that brought them together in the first place – their differences. The interest in the opposite sex wouldn’t be as high if both were similar. Instead of complaining about our spouses, let us celebrate the misunderstandings.

Without them, we wouldn’t realize how much we would sacrifice to keep them. Without sadness, we cannot appreciate joy. It is precisely despite their shortcomings that we have chosen to love them. Loving another, after all, is not because of the good but despite all the bad.