Dorothy Parker said, “Having written, I love writing…” I know people who think writing isn’t “real” work. If it isn’t physical. it isn’t real. Or hard. Most authors would probably agree with me, some days I’d rather be digging ditches than sitting at my desk, staring at the computer. It feels like hard work! But when the words begin to flow, nothing can compare! So here I am, in the Authors’ Lounge once more, having my bi-weekly date with my blog.
In 1993 my life changed tragically. My oldest daughter, Vickie, died from renal failure. In subsequent years I wrote a book chronicling her passing and my journey through grief. Below is the description of my book, Grief Passages.
Everyone at one time or another in their life faces loss– the loss of a job, a pet, a home, the death of a loved one, either a spouse, a parent, a friend, or the worse loss of all, a child. Loss entails grief, and most of us don’t do the grief work adequately. We resume our lives, but we don’t usually function at the high level before the grief. Without adequate grief work, we never regain that level of living. It is important to let yourself experience the pain of the loss. Without that, we never get over the loss. Grief Passages is the poignant story of a mother whose 32-year-old daughter died after an 18-year battle with renal failure. The mother traces the days after the death of her daughter through passages from her journal. Along the way her grief gave way to an exploration of her faith, her belief in God. Grief Passages is more than an account of the authors’ grieving for her daughter; it becomes a triumphant declaration of faith in God and the realization that death is not the end, but perhaps the beginning, after all. Passages from the author’s journal give readers of this small book a look into her heart as she struggles with her loss amidst a world that isn’t kind to mourners. Readers who are themselves in mourning will find comfort. As one reader said, “You described the way I feel, but didnt know how to say it.” The author has a masters degree in counseling.
Though Vickie has been gone more than 26 years, there are times when thoughts of her, wondering what she’d be like now, push me over the edge into that deep ravine of grief. I know I’m not alone. I know there are those of you out there who have the same feelings when the loss of your loved one becomes more than an ancient memory. The sorrow is as real today as it was the day she died. I’m grateful for the Authors’ Lounge for this opportunity to share with all of you my journey, in the hope that together we can learn to live again. It’s in our living that we honor our loved ones. I had a dream, just a few months after Vickie passed away, in which she scolded me about hanging on to her. She told me I was keeping her from doing her work. I needed to let go and get on with my life.
To honor her, and my own soul, I got about the work of moving on. It wasn’t easy, but I managed. A few years after her death, I discovered a faith, a belief system, that was huge factor in my grief recovery. I discuss it in my book, Grief Passages.
As I sit in the Authors’ Lounge, contemplating my life, I hear Vickie whispering in my heart, “Good for you, Mom! I knew you could do it!” Vickie was always my cheerleader, until she met Jim. But you have to read the book to get that story!
Grief Passages can be found at www.amazon.com