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Most of us remember adolescence as a kind of double negative – no longer allowed to be children, yet still not capable of being adults. –Julia Barnes

When kids finally reach adolescence, they still don’t know how the world works. They are at a tricky crossroads where they have to learn how to make decisions independently; simultaneously, they are still encouraged to have fun and enjoy the limited years of being young and energetic. Adolescence is a weird mix of beautiful and painful memories that many young teens share. They spend the first few years carving their identity and proving themselves worthy of becoming a functional member of society.

More often, young people are burdened by society’s views on being carefree, wild, and vibrant. It’s common for adults to think, ‘When you are young, they assume you know nothing. The youth are often seen as naïve and aimless; hence their well-being is often overlooked and disregarded, especially in the emotional and mental aspects. That’s why despite their tough exterior, there lies an inner child still in need of something that parents can provide. And even if what they need doesn’t have anything to do with their parents or anyone around them, teenagers have certain personal things they love deep inside.

In the book ‘The Soul of Adolescence Aligns with the Heart of Democracy Orphans, Rebels, and Civic Lovers Unite,’Alfred H. Kurland explores how society should understand the hearts of young people and how we can collectively appreciate their uniqueness and individuality. And whether they admit it or not, parents must be sensitive in determining their needs. Here are some of them:

1 – A Sense Of Uniqueness

Parents have a tremendous influence on their children’s self-esteem. How these kids are brought up at home reflects who they are as they go through the stages of life. The way teens feel about themselves often stems from how their parents treat them when no one’s looking – regardless if they are positive or negative, especially when no one’s looking. As parents, they need to carefully observe and identify their children’s particular interests while maintaining an open mind. Be it in sports, arts, music, and the like, allow your teen to explore different hobbies that might eventually become their long-term passions. While you’re at it, encourage positive reinforcement through words of affirmation. Teenagers may not say it out loud since they tend to bottle things up at their age. But they must hear from their parents and other adult figures how they’re doing well.

2 – A Guidance Towards Proper Independence

As teenagers’ transition through independence progresses, they need their parents to properly guide them on the right path to being independent people. Even if parents hire mentors or make their kids watch grown-up shows, they still look to their parents for guidance in the end. Such a powerful force is required to shape them into self-reliant individuals to develop a deep sense of conviction and help them become decisive in the future.

Asking for help seems complicated for many teenagers due to their pride which is understandable. Their desire to enter the world on their own hinders them from seeking help from other people, especially their parents. This is why parents have to initiate conversations with their children about what they need to work on to be sufficient individuals when the time comes.

3 – Building Relationships With Other People

Adolescence is a sweet time to make lasting friendships, although it’s also a time of fleeting relationships. This doesn’t exclusively pertain to the romantic aspect. People come and go. They serve as a lesson that these young people will carry on for the rest of their lives. Parents who want their teenage kids to build connections with their peers should allow them to spend time with them and create a strong bond. That depends on who they surround themselves with because that’s where parents must keep watch over.

Be receptive to who the kids welcome into their lives, especially if they want to bring friends over at home. By warming up to the fact that they are making friends at their age, parents are enabling their children’s social skills enhancement. Having their peers over also shows the children that parents care about their well-being, which will also strengthen the parent-child relationship.

4 – Respecting Their Privacy

Parents often recall the times they did everything with their children – playing, hanging out, eating, watching television, and sleeping together. Now that they’re growing up, teenagers develop a sense of privacy, which makes them feel the need to keep things from their parents. They learn to limit what they share and what they want the rest of the world to see, which changes the unspoken rules of what should be done together with their parents. Teenagers suddenly don’t like to share their world and are eager to crave more space and time alone. Our teens may not say it aloud, but we don’t have to ask them about it to give them the space they love. By stepping away for a bit, they immediately understand that you are giving it to them, and they will appreciate it. And by giving them time to enjoy solitude, they learn more about themselves and how they will navigate the rest of their lives.